Monday, February 25, 2008

A typical evening


One of the best books ever
Originally uploaded by {Amy_Jane}
A dramatic reenactment of a normal night for Bailey and I around the house.

Feeling blah

I'm not in a BAD mood...

I'm definitely not in a GOOD mood, though.

I just feel BLAH.

I've been generally unhappy overall.

Not sure why...

There's nothing really obvious to blame it on.

Maybe it's just the cold, grayness of February.

I'm BORED.

I think I drink too much.

I ordered a couple collage posters from Walgreens yesterday - they're neat.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I'm in love with flickr


it's a sunshine day...
Originally uploaded by amazingranda
I love looking at random pictures, adding them to *My Favorites*, and then seeing all my favorites on the page.

This little guy is cute.

And yay - it's Friday!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Nostalgic


October at the lake
Originally uploaded by {Amy_Jane}
I took this picture a few years ago (I can't believe it's been that long) and I love it.

I love the memories it stirs up.

I love the warm, peacefulness of it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hi Bored, I'm Amy

Cold, Amy; Amy, Cold. Nice to meet you.

I've had a productive day - I did all the System Testing and test prep
that I can at the moment and also finished 2 Quality Audits.

I have a few other annoying things I really need to do.

I'd do them except that they are really annoying.

I want to leave, but I don't want to go outside.

Sigh.

Alive and well

Good news - I survived my brush with death (aka my week of being sick.)

I took most of the week off work and spent it rotating between my
couch and bed.

Anyway, I'm better now.

It is freaking COLD outside. -6, according to the TCF building this morning.

Yuck.

I'm in my Test Lab at work. It is too quiet in here. I'd turn music
or something on, but somebody from the Business is in here and I don't
feel like negotiating that with her.

Eh.

I successfully re-tested 2 defects so far today. Woo. (Defect =
programming error. Finding defects = the point of my job.)

I feel a little off. I don't know how to describe it. If somebody
asked me, "If you could be doing anything in the whole wide world
right now, what would it be?", my response would be a blank stare. I
don't particularly feel like doing ANYTHING.

My parents make me sad and angry and annoyed and disappointed.

I want to go to New Zealand and it's seeming increasingly likely that
I will, but we'll see.

I drink too much Red Bull and eat too much sugar.

I got some new pens that have fun names like Earth Blue, Rocket Red,
Deep Space Black, and Plasma Pink.

Jordan called last night. He was at his regular bar and definitely
drunk. We talked for nearly an hour - he probably won't remember 90%
of the conversation. I don't know if he has a cruddy memory in
general or if it's simply due to his alcohol consumption, but either
way, he doesn't usually recollect his drunk-dials.

Ah well.

Last week he wanted me to read a specific thing on his blog so I
did...as well as other things he didn't specifically want me to read
(as in, didn't want me to read at all.)

He's practically a stranger to me.

Apparently, his friends didn't like me, I turned out to be different
than he expected (he didn't specify how so), I'm questioning that he
ever sincerely cared about me, and he has very dysfunctional and
unhealthy relationships with the people he cares about (entirely my
opinion - I'm guessing he'd disagree.)

Poor boy.

I'm not going to read his blog anymore.

Florida-Bill wrote an essay and I proofread it for him last night.
He's a better writer than I expected. Lots of run-on sentences,
though. And very long paragraphs.

I miss being an English major.

I have been working on a couple creative-ish projects. I don't
consider myself very artsy or anything, but I have been making an
effort to be creative lately. It's fun.

...And so it is...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

xxx quarantined xxx

I am sick.

Sick

Sick

Sick

Gramma came to stay with me today, complete w/ Sunny D and homemade chicken noodle soup.

Jim came over on Sunday and brought me lots of food - McDonalds for my immediate needs, water for survival, sandwich ingredients - including fancy bakery bread, Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and lots of other yummy things.

He's my hero.

I don't miss Jordan,

In fact, I don't feel very positively towards him at all.

We've been friendly, but...

I hope his new girlfriend makes him happy. It seems ironic that she suddenly wanted him once he was w/ me, especially when he's been in love w/ her forever and she wasn't interested.

And if she hurts him...well, that's life.

I'm sick.

It hurts.

I'm going back to bed.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Everything and Nothing

Lots on my mind, but I'm not sure I have much to say.

It's been a superficially decent week - a lot of the people I love
most at work have been around, I've had fun outside of work, I've been
productive enough.

The big news of the week is my new found wealth. I got a VERY
significant raise and a decent year-end bonus at work and my tax
rebate will be quite nice as well.

Good thing because I. Am. Broke.

It's my own fault, to some extent - I LIKE buying stuff! Stuff I
don't need, stuff I think I need, stuff I pretend to need...and once
in a while, the stuff I really do need.

The extra money will make life easier.

I feel like I'm mostly over Jordan. Sometimes I'll get a pang of
sadness and miss him a lot out of no where or for no good reason, but
mostly I don't think about him *like that.* We hung out on Tuesday
and it was fine...I text/call him (often while under the influence),
sometimes he replies...It's fine.

Hanging out with Jim has helped.

I feel lonely and I hate seeing Valentine's crud everywhere, but
that's a general feeling of emptiness - not a Jordan-shaped hole. I
miss his company and our closeness, but it wasn't anything special
that I'm afraid I'll never have again.

He still brings up little arguments we had, things I said, times I
made him upset...

I'm not sure why. He knows I feel bad, he knows I'm sorry...

I never even knew him well enough to realize I might possibly offend
him most of the time.

Why keep replaying that kind of stuff? He doesn't need or want me to
apologize, I obviously can't undo the past, our relationship is
o-v-e-r...Whatever, though - he has the right to think and do whatever
he wants - I don't have to understand it.

I'd prefer it if he spent more time thinking about all the things I
did RIGHT....

But, I never even knew him well enough to realize what was right and
what was wrong most of the time.

I hope he finds a girl who fits the mold in his mind AND makes him
genuinely happy. And who his friends and family approve of...

Anyway, enough about that. He's a sweet, smart, charming guy - he'll be fine.

No real plans for the weekend yet. That's fine with me - I've been
very tired and will appreciate some time just to be home.

I want to go to New Zealand and road trip with Scottish Stu...The
extra income makes it seem far more possible...A vacation would be
fan-tas-tic.

Especially with a cute Scottish boy...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

2 Roads Diverged...

Alice came to a fork in the road.
'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'

I Alice in Wonderland.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Love is...


Love is...
Originally uploaded by {Amy_Jane}
Amber sent this totally out of no where tonight:

Sometimes, that's all you really need to hear.

I love her. :)