Thursday, November 20, 2008

"it's okay for you to say what you want from me; I believe that's the only way for me to be...

...exactly what you want me to be."
     (Wilco, "Handshake Drugs")
Life is very complicated.  People are very complicated.  I don't know if I am complicated.
Definitely confused, though...
Anyway, it's been a long week.  I wish wish wish wish wish today was Friday.
I was dating Jordan a year ago - it feels like a million years ago.  The memories are so blurry. 
It's hard to say how our whirlwind-train wreck of a relationship changed me.  I think I feel much more guarded and cautious in general...but my world overall seems so much scarier, so unsafe, so undependable...
Part of me wants to let go of all that and just become a part of the chaos. Part of me wants to hibernate in a little cave till everything makes sense again.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My 2 favorite 6-year-olds

Lydia and Anna at Anna's 6th birthday party.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Life sucks.

Mine in particular.

I hate cancer.

Maybe I'll elaborate some other time. Or maybe it'll all just go away and I can pretend everything is fine, everything has always been fine, and everything will continue to be fine.

In other news...

There's this boy I kinda sorta like.

Friday, November 7, 2008

3 Things: 3 pictures on my Flickr page with 0 views

Out of 943 pictures, 3 of my pictures on Flickr have never been viewed.

So, another 3 things:

1. Fall at the Lake

2. End of Summer

3. Tibetan Prayer Flags

3 Things: 3 Things I Love

3 Things I Love:

1. My MacBook

2. PhotoBooth

3. Jack

Let Me Off, Let Me Off!!!

Emotional Rollercoaster

Some nice people found Jack....kind of. He'd been hanging out in their garage for the past 4-5 days and it sounded very promising. Although it sounded like he's just been wandering in and out, he was at least wandering IN regularly.

So, yesterday morning I went there, thinking and hoping and wishing with all my energy that he'd be there, or be nearby, hear me, and come running.

Instead, it rained. And got colder.

The people who found him are really nice and said they'd bring him in the house as soon as he came back and then call so I could come get him. No call yet.

My best-case scenario fear is that with the cold, rainy weather, Jack will have found somewhere else to hang out and I'm pretty much back where I started...

Except Jack is nearly 4 miles from home. Across a busy road, train tracks, and the highway. How on Earth did he manage to get that far??? That cat is dumber than rocks. I LOVE that about him - and I'm hoping it's what keeps him safe and will get him home. He's kind of like Inspector Gadget or Mr. Magoo or the guys in Dumb and Dumber.

And so I wait.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Never Grow Up
Originally uploaded by {Amy_Jane}
...this is all I want to do at work.

[Violyt in my old test lab last fall.]

Sunday, November 2, 2008

There is a sniffly little person in my bed

* Warning! Very boring account of my day! *

My little cousin Lydia is here for the weekend, apparently. I was at my cousin's house Friday to see the kids all dressed up and hang out and have some drinks w/ Rodia while Chris took the 3 kids out trick or treating. Lydia came home w/ me and we did some art projects and read some books last night for Sleepover, Part I.

Today, we woke up around 8 and watched these really annoying, but educational Leap Frog DVD's about phonics. We worked some more on our art projects till about 11 when we finally got out of the house and on our way to IHOP. I always forget that everything takes at least twice as long when a 5 year old is involved.

After IHOP, we went to Borders where I got the new issue of Cloth, Paper, Scissors and the new special edition from Stampington - Where Women Create. I really love looking at artists' studios - seeing how they organize, decorate, inspire themselves.

Anyway, then we went to Michael's so I could get a birthday present for Anna who turned 6 on Wednesday. I got her a pot-holder-weaving-loom-thing and a bag of the stretchy-loopy-things.

* Every little kid should make ugly potholders using stretchy-loopy-things on those pot-holder-weaving-loom-things.

We went home, wrapped my present, and headed off to Anna's birthday party at Mike and Other Amy's house at about 3. Since they live in North Mpls, I showed Lydia the houses where Rodia and I lived when we were her age.

Party was fun - Lydia and Anna had fun and were cute and it was nice to see everybody.

We left about 8, stopped at Wal Mart, and then came home. We watched some lame Land Before Time movie (there are a ton of those now which is kinda funny - the original was one of the first movies I saw in the theater back when I was about Lydia's age.) It was about how important it is to follow rules. Lame.

That got over and Lydia was half asleep and Bailey wanted some attention so I went upstairs and read some magazines while throwing his toys for him. He wanted to play with this teeny tennis ball, but it got lost (like it always does) and he was being stubborn and didn't want to play with anything else. Silly dog.

I put him to bed then hung out in my studio for abit. I made an ATC that doesn't feel complete. I like the concept, though. We'll see. I'm not huge into ATC's, but they are fun to make - they are an excuse to be creative and make something artsy, I guess. "Excuse" isn't the right word, but I'm too tired to figure out what is the right word.

I wish I wasn't so tired because part of me is feeling very inspired. It's just as well, though. I have too many ideas, thoughts, images, whatever floating around in my head and sorting them out requires energy as well as inspiration.

So, I'm in my bed and Lydia is fast asleep next to me. She has a cold and listening to her breathe makes me think she'd probably be miserable if she was awake.

Not sure what the plan for tomorrow is...