Thursday, November 20, 2008

"it's okay for you to say what you want from me; I believe that's the only way for me to be...

...exactly what you want me to be."
 
     (Wilco, "Handshake Drugs")
 
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Blah. 
 
Life is very complicated.  People are very complicated.  I don't know if I am complicated.
 
Definitely confused, though...
 
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Anyway, it's been a long week.  I wish wish wish wish wish today was Friday.
 
I was dating Jordan a year ago - it feels like a million years ago.  The memories are so blurry. 
 
It's hard to say how our whirlwind-train wreck of a relationship changed me.  I think I feel much more guarded and cautious in general...but my world overall seems so much scarier, so unsafe, so undependable...
 
Part of me wants to let go of all that and just become a part of the chaos. Part of me wants to hibernate in a little cave till everything makes sense again.
 

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