Sunday, June 21, 2009

To my dad.

In case the text is too small to read, it says:


never thought I could handle missing somebody as much as I miss you...every single day. I like to think you are watching over me, even though I know you’d tell me that is silly.

I hope you miss me too...I also hope you are proud of me and forgive me for all the times I was stubborn or didn’t answer your calls or call you back.

I hope you know that I was with you till the very end and that I would not have wanted it any other way.

Rest in peace, Dad. I promise that I am doing my best. I love you forever and ever.


Happy Father's Day.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Hi from Buffalo...and my cousin's really annoying computersauraus with its whopping 448 MB of RAM and its blazing fast DSL connection.

I've been hanging out here since yesterday, helping her out with a garage sale. I agreed to contribute some junk and help watch the kids and whatever, assuming that a garage sale in the middle of no where would be pretty quiet...

Not so much.

There were people lined up to buy our junk at 7 AM today! People just kept coming...It quieted down for a wee bit around lunch time, but then it was non-stop people again till after 5. I have no idea how much money we made, but I'm guessing the toal is well over $500. I didn't bring much stuff - mostly just some clothes, books, and a few old board games - but even I made over $50. Not bad...

It's been pretty annoying, though. I really wanted to get my resume submitted and work on my Linked In profile that I set up a while ago, but never really did anything with; however, this computer goes sooooo slow and my cousin kept needing me to run outside so I kept getting logged out and/or forgetting what I was doing and having to start over. Not a very productive day...

Most of the family is off watching Payton play baseball - it's just me and the girls here now. We made art projects and then they started watching an old Scooby Doo movie (starring the Harlem Globetrotters!) so I came up here to try and work on my resume, but wrote this instead. The movie must have ended because I can hear them arguing downstairs - guess I better go find something else for them to do....

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Music to Grieve by....

Choosing the music for my dad's funeral was a very big deal to me. My dad loved music and hated funerals; thus, it had to be perfect.

And I think it was.

"The road is long,
With many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows when

But I'm strong"

The funeral opened with "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by the Hollies. Not a song I was familiar with, but one that meant a lot to my uncle (my dad's little brother) and also my mom. I guess it was one of my dad's favorites back in the 70's. I have come to like it a lot.

"And now the time has come,
so my love I must go"

The next song was the end of my eulogy - "I'll Follow the Sun" by the Beatles. It's one of my favorite songs ever. It is sad but it is so full of hope and love.

"Fare you well, fare you well,
I love you more than words can tell,

Listen to the river sing sweet songs,
to rock my soul"

The song I picked for the "quiet reflection" was "Brokedown Palace" by the Grateful Dead (don't tell my Gramma...I think I have her convinced it is one of the "later hymns"...)

Pastor Jack was a Dead-Head! When I met with him before the funeral, I was telling him the music I picked and got to this song and started to think maybe a Priest wouldn't really approve of the Grateful Dead for whatever reason...So, I was, like, "'s a nice song...very pretty...about 5 minutes's..about a''Brokedown Palace'..." He responded by SINGING it to me then telling me that he's see the Dead 30 times or something! Awesome...


"Though I know I'll never lose affection,
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I love you more..."

The funeral ended with "There Are Places I Remember" by the Beatles. I picked it mostly for the way it FEELS rather than the lyrics (although I love the lyrics too). It makes me think of love and friendship and happy's sort of wistful, but again, it has that element of hope that makes me feel better...

I just checked my thesaurus for a better word than "hope." Faith jumped out at me...


Gone Fishing

This is the verse we chose for the cards at my dad's funeral. We thought we ordered too many cards, but they were ALL gone within the first 5 minutes of the visitation. I read the verse during my eulogy and also included it in the many many many thank you cards we've sent...I'm thinking a lot about my dad this week so I thought I'd post it here:

Gone Fishing

Don’t grieve for me, I’ve gone fishing
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life’s been very full
Now I’m free to enjoy it all
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah, yes, these things I too will miss
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief
But remember me with a twinkle in my eye
I’m not far away
I’ve gone fishing.

Love you, Dad....forever and ever.